FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
