Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
