some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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