So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
