I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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