why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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