Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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