Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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