I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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