"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
