I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize