The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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