what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
