I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
it was like eating out sand paper
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
