my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
