remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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