Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize