Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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