I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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