I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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