their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
