even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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