Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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