Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
