Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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