I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i need some magic done to my vagina
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
