i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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