If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
