plz talk dirty to me
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
