apparently the secret to your success is patron
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
