Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I cut my penus on the lid.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
