btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So many bounce houses so little time
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
