Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
