boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
