You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
