Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The adults are the big ones right?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
