honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize