Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
