I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
