Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
