walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
