he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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