I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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