Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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