i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
