I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
