can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize