Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
