My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
