how can u be prego again
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
