Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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