if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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