i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
