Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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