whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
