Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
