It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Please don't give away my fajitas
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
