you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
