im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
