i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
