I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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