dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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