Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
