He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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