His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
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