The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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