He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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