Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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